Too many times I have asked myself why I continue to forgive for the same wrongs that have been done over and over and over again. I feel as if time after time I have spoken with the woman that I call mother and I hear in her voice and in her slurred words the reality that she once again is no longer sober. At a younger age I had a lot of hatred towards her and towards her choices. Looking back I am more thankful than anything that of all of the mistakes she has made, she has made clear a path for me where I can choose to not follow in her footsteps and I can choose to not make the same mistakes that she has made before me. It pains me that she has to suffer the way that she does, but in all reality if she had to choose between her children in pain or herself, she would choose to face those demons. Sobriety is not something that I was familiar with as a teen or even as a young adult. It was not until I had reached my lowest point that I knew I wanted better and if I wanted better I would have to choose better. I choose to be sober for me, for my relationships, and for my mother who chooses to take the rocky road in life. I am very blessed to have been exposed to the things that I have and I am very blessed that those times that were meant to hurt me have only made me into a stronger woman. I choose forgiveness and I choose love.

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